“Do you understand how bad it feels when they ask me such questions?”, Parija almost cried.
“I do but do you realize it is not about you only?”
“What else can we do? Aren’t we trying enough?”
Shamya could not utter a word. He hugged her.
This was not the first time they were having such conversation. Most of the time, it ended like this only. When Shamya could see the wound of Parija, he hugged her tight, as if this could heal the pain. As if that one hug could disentangle the complexity of their lives.
Parija and Shamya were married for 5 years. They were trying for a baby for quite a long time now and somehow it was not working out well. Elders of the family were getting restless. At the beginning they had not been so obnoxious but now it got raised to a whole new level. For example, an hour ago Shamya’s mother, Priyadarshini, directly asked Parija, “Is this because you have to leave your job?”
“What are you saying Mom?”
“Tell me frankly Pari, are you really trying for a baby or just pretending? We know what that job means to you?”
Parija was hurt and angry, “Mom! How can you think like that? Do you think I don’t want a baby? I am dying for one.”
“Then you should consult to doctor.”
“I think both of us should. Why are you putting it on me only?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“What did you mean by’I should consult a doctor?’”
“Are you really so naive not to understand that?”
Parija could not stand there anymore. She rushed in her room and broke into tears.
She thought in her mind, “Why every time she has to answer these questions? Why does everyone look at her in such a way as she is the reason of her not conceiving? Is this because she is woman? But Shamya’s family is educated enough to look at things in a broader way. Does situation change everything? Even the mindset of people?”.
When she got married to Shamya, she was very happy. He was the only son of his parents. Their mentality matched. Their statuses matched. Their families got along with each other really well. She thought this could be the best thing for her. But now, what was happening with her? What was happening around her? Why his parents were behaving like this?
Shamya was not as naive as his family. He knew how it felt not to have something he wanted so badly. He thought it had to stop. Otherwise Parija would break down. Shamya’s love for her would not allow him to see that.
Few days later.
“Why don’t you take her to the doctor? How many days do we have to wait?”, Priyadarshini said directly to her son.
“I am thinking of that actually.”
Parija was confounded when Shamya said that indifferently.
“Thank God! Finally you came back to your senses.”
“We should consult a doctor. We are trying for a long time now.”
“You should go and consult with the doctor for her, Shamya.”
Shamya looked at his mother with disapprobation and said, “ How do you know it’s not my issue? I am not ashamed if this turns out to be my problem.”
Priyadarshini was astounded when she said,“You have gone mad! Think twice before you speak.”
“How come you are behaving like that, Mom? How come you are hurting her like this? You should renege to the promise of taking care of Parija like your own daughter? Would you have done the same thing with your own daughter?”
Priyadarshini kept quite.
Parija was tired of these fights. She left the room.
“One more thing Mom, we want the baby because we are ready now and not because you people are waiting. Don’t be hard on Parija.”
The next day.
Parija was holding Shamya’s hand out of nervousness. She knew the ramifications if the test results turned out to be against her. Priyadarshini would not miss a chance to express her disappointment. Although Shamya had already suggested for adoption and she agreed to it, somewhere she knew it would not be that easy for the families to digest, mostly for Shamya’s family. Shamya was the only person she could derive support from.
“When did the last time I was so tense? It might be for Board results.”, Shamya tried to lighten the mood.
“ For now, it seems to be the most important exam of our lives.”
She saw the doctor to enter in the room. She took a deep breath and prayed,” Please God! Don’t let it be the worst day of my life”.
They realized that God was in a good mood when the doctor said, “Congratulations! You should start preparations to welcome a new member in your lives”.