8 Corporate Lies

1.The Weekend Tragedy

Whenever your Team Lead calls you on weekend to connect to office, he/she finds you in the most miserable condition possible. You are away from home, you are sick, you do not have electricity/internet connection or you are on Mars fighting for oxygen.

 
 
 
 
 
 

2.The Great ETA

The formula is
Expected Time for Accomplishment = 2* The actual days required to complete the task+ Your mood swing days.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

3.The Overconfidence Quotient

The law states that the degree of your overconfidence is inversely proportional to the work done till now.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

4. The Exaggeration

Sometimes you have to exaggerate things.

Need an hour break for personal reason?
Make a face as if you broke up with your partner.

Need a day off all of a sudden?
Make a face as if you have been robbed.

Need leave for a week?
Make a face as if just now you got the news that you are suffering from Cancer.

If you are lucky, it will work.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

5.Sick Leaves

Problem1:Today is Monday.
Problem2: I had a long fun weekend.
Problem3: I don’t want to go to office.
Solution: Sick Leaves!

Remember, if you have 10 sick leaves, you’ll use only 1 or 2 when you are actually sick. Rest are for sudden plans or for extending vacation.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

6.The Blame Game

Onsite is the main reason for all the problems you have.

You could not meet the deadline?
Reason:Onsite
The food made by your Mom was uncooked?
Reason:Onsite
Your Dad is scolding you for being lazy?
Reason:Onsite.
Your sibling broke your guitar?
Reason:Onsite
Remember they do the same!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

7.The Second Biggest Lie

You tell it to yourself.
“Today I came early so I am gonna leave early.”
And the day you’ll be able to do that, you’ll be like->

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

8. The Biggest Lie

So you are very happy with your package. Wait till the end of the month. We can here the “Jag suna suna lage” music in background after few days of getting salary. Yes, your company has trolled you in your offer letter.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

P.S.: I am not saying everyone follows these points. But people like me who write blogs in the middle of work, are pretty used to with these lies. 😛